Update on the Mental Dick (Thanks, Jessie!)

I've started throwing my mental dick around for some practice. This just might work out. Here are two examples.

1. A "friend" on Facebook sent me a message that he was smoking a joint, and then he followed this up with some other weird crap about hippies and dirt. He's 35. 35! Normally, I would have said grow the fuck up, or I would have ranted and raved. I swung my mental dick around, and I deleted his dumb, stoned ass. No message. Just rejection.

2. I was craving a Diet Mountain Dew, so I ran up to the gas station. I was standing in line with my new red bedroom shoes on (this is Eastwick), and a woman tried to break in line. Normally, I would have either rolled my eyes, or I would have ranted and raved. Instead, the cashier finished with her customer, and I just stepped directly in front of the woman and paid for my drink. I didn't give her a nasty look. I didn't call her a bitch. I just paid for my fucking drink and left.

The men are probably wondering why this is such a new thing for me, and I have no explanation for you nor do I really owe you one. It just is. See! I swung it around again! Ha ha!