Krispie Kreme

I had a strange encounter today. I was bopping along in my little car with The Little Willies blasting and all of the windows down. I was feeling good today because my doggie seems to be feeling better. Her meds are really working for her, and she seems very comfortable. Plus, it didn't hurt that I got a killer new haircut:) So, I'm pulling out of work today, and I see her. Krispie Kreme. This is the name that I gave the lady who made my life miserable from December 2000 to August 2003. I had just graduated from college, and I was soooo excited because I landed a federal job doing "techy" things for the government. I thought it was going to be so cool. Well, it wasn't, and I met Krispie Kreme there. She was the bitchest, bitch I have ever met. She was and probably still is pure evil. I call her Krispie Kreme because she could polish off a dozen every morning. I shit you not! It was pretty cool to just watch her work her way through them. Anyway, I digress. Krispie Kreme decided that she hated me. She would break into my file drawer and take the original copies of case files and destroy them. Guess who would end up getting in trouble? You got it. Me! So, this happened twice, and I started to catch on. I went to my boss, and she told me that KK had done this to the last girl. What?!?!? Why not fire her you ask? Because that would be way too easy. So, my boss orders me a new file cabinet. Things were fine for a few weeks, but then KK started to get restless. Maybe it was all of the glaze tumbling around in her belly. She comes in my office one day and tells me that she has been raped. Well, I'm mortified, and I'm trying to figure out how to talk to her. I felt really bad because she had lied to me so much that I was having a hard time believing her. I didn't feel like I could go to my boss because if she had been raped, then it wasn't up to me to tell something like that to another person. I sat and listened to her. I never asked any questions because honestly I was freaked out. Here is this woman who hates me, yet she is telling me about this horrible thing that has happened to her. Well, she had given me all of these details, and I was pretty upset. I talked to her that morning, and then she said she was ok and was going to go back to her office. I sat there with my morning coffee sans doughnut and began reading the news. Right there on the front page was the same story that Krispie Kreme had just told me. Only it had happened to a local college student and not a 40ish woman! I wanted to believe her, but then I showed it to my boss. My boss was like, "Yeah. She reads stuff in the papers and then says that it happened to her." What the fuck, lady? That's called crazy where I am from. I never confronted Krispie Kreme until a few months later when she crossed the line. We each had a "state" car because we were in the field a lot. I went out to mine one day, and the seat was run way back. Well, I'm really short, so I knew someone had been in it. I went to start it, and it wouldn't start. We found out that somebody had been messing with the car. I knew she had done it. We have to leave our keys in the office, so it would have been easy for her to do. I went back in, closed her office door, and went ballistic. I told her that if she ever talked to me again about anything, even if it was work related, that I would slap the shit out of her. I told her that I was willing to go to jail for assault. I also told her if she saw me on the street and even glanced my way that I would roll her tubby ass out into traffic and face the consequences later. Then I leaned over her desk and pulled everything on it into the floor. I finished it off with, "Bitch, I'm past angry, so don't even think of fucking with me." I left four months later. She didn't speak to me once. So, back to me bopping around in my car today. I'm pulling out of the work parking lot, and there's Krispie Kreme. I took complete and pure delight in the look of horror on her face as I pressed my gas pedal to the floor with the sweet sound of Norah Jones' voice blasting out of my windows. Take that Krispie Kreme!