Thursday, July 10, 2008

The Cube Keeps Turning

I met the Peroxide Queen's man today. I'm going to call him the VD King because of his STD. It is still to be determined what he has. I think the results come in tomorrow. She brought him over to my cube today. He was very car salesman like with his handshake, greeting, and sparkling teeth. He looked like he stepped out of 1985, which is funny because the Peroxide Queen is stuck in the 80's (tapered mom jeans and all). Somehow the conversation veered towards where he went to high school and where he was from. Turns out that the VD King went to high school with one of my brother-in-laws. I quickly called my sister to get the dirt. My brother-in-law was very amused to find out where the VD King was today. It totally made me want to register on classmates.com and look up people I went to high school with. Anyway, this made me start thinking about who else this guy went to high school with. If he went with my brother-in-law, then this means he went with my brother-in-law's sister, Cookie. Now, this is interesting because Cookie don't take no shit and never has. I can't wait until we all get together, and I can get her reaction. Actually, Cookie was too cool for high school and probably doesn't remember the VD King. If I get anything good out of her, I'll report back. As for the diseased couple, Mr. Bitchford and I have been invited out to dinner with them. I'm seriously thinking about going, but I'll have to bring my hand sanitizer with me. Don't wanna catch nothin'.

3 comments:

Mrs. Flax said...

Yeah, be sure you don't have to change the label of this post from "crap that happens to Alexandra" to "clap that happens to Alexandra."

Unknown said...

Mrs. Flax for the win.

Also, fuck Classmates, find their Myspace pages, they're usually way more embarrassing and full of bad pictures. Seriously, if you dont have an account there, start one even if it's for trolling.

My two ex best friends? I found pictures of them licking each other's legs at a BBQ, and they're not pretty girls they're all fat now.

Alexandra Bitchford said...

Excellent, Jessie! I'm going to do that right now. Should Sukie and I have a poll where people can vote on what VD these two have?