An Eastwick Weekend

I've got hot plans this weekend. First, I'm going to my friend's house to get my hair cut. Yep! She's got a beauty parlor right smack dab in her house, people. While I pride myself on having "good" hair and staying with the styles, I realized that I go to Betty's Beauty Box to get my hair did. Once I get my fabulous 'do, I will go to visit my sister. There are some hot plans there too. We're going to blow up one of my nephew's new water slides and set it up right in the front yard. Yep! Right in the front yard! Once we get tired of playing on this giant, reduced-price Big Lots toy, we can always head over to the next door neighbor's swimming hole. We'll probably finish off the evening with one of our favorite drinks we invented called The Pink Squirrel. It's a tribute to Crystal on Roseanne. Don't ask. I also can't forget that my mangy dogs will be underfoot the entire weekend begging for scraps of food and barking at people they know. Add in one nephew who likes to peel all of his clothes off and run around naked outside, one brother-in-law who insists on white swim trunks, a sister who refuses to wear shoes all weekend, and Mr. Bitchford who is covered in tattoos, and you have yourself one helluva redneck weekend. Ya'll come back now...Ya hear!