After the Storm Settles

It's no big secret that I've been married before, and it didn't work out. I've been divorced for awhile now, and my mom has started bugging me to get my wedding dress out of her house. I have no clue what to do with it. First of all, it's a beautiful dress. I wish I could dye it black (my favorite color) and wear it out on the town. The other problem is that it is tiny. Yes, I was a tiny bride, but I was also sustaining myself on vodka martinis and cigarettes because I was so depressed. Lovely, huh? The dress doesn't make me cry, and it doesn't really hold any memories for me. I've thought of having a giveaway on the blog for kicks. Sukie thinks I should sell it. My other problem is my wedding ring. It has a beautiful diamond, but again, I just don't know what to do with it. Mr. Bitchford thinks I should just make another piece of jewelry out of it, but it just sits in my dresser drawer. I went to sell it once, but it was so pretty that I didn't want to part with it. My final post divorce problem is the pictures. This is kind of funny because my wedding album is still on our bookshelf. :) I love that Mr. Bitchford could give two shits that it is still around. Honestly, most of the photos are of me and my friends and family. We had a good time that day! I don't really feel right throwing them away. Suggestions?

The Yeti

It's official. Sukie and I work with a yeti. For those of you who may not know what a yeti is, I have provided a photo.

The guy is disgusting. He has a beard that is scraggly and down to his chest. I'm not really sure what kind of statement he is trying to make. I sit in meetings and watch to see if crumbs or spiders are going to crawl out of it. I sometimes ask him if I can borrow a pen just to see if he pulls it out of the nastiness. Ewww! I could probably deal with it if he would braid it or something. I sat next to him in a meeting today, and I swear I heard something whisper, "Help me." I'm convinced that whatever is living in his beard was asking me for help. Should I tell him that he is no longer 20 nor does he live in a frat house, so the beard must go?

Paula Deen is a Bawdy Broad

Alas, my beloved's heart has been stolen. Well, at least a piece of it has. Mr. Bitchford has a crush on Paula Deen. At first, I thought it was innocent. I mean, who wouldn't want a squishy woman who smells of butter? I walked through the den the other night, and I heard strange noises coming from the couch. I stand and listen. It's the sound of Mr. Bitchford saying things like, "Mmmmm. Oh yes, Paula. Mmmhmmm. More, more, more butter!" I go in there, and I notice that he instantly blushes and turns his eyes to the floor. I asked, "What are you doing?" He responds, "Nothing." Hmph! I know he was thinking of burying his face in her ample bosom while sampling her buttery nutty bars or maybe her bannana cream pie! Bitch! I can't compete. I do NOT cook. I like to buy pretty aprons and vintage kitchen tchotkes, but that is where my love affair with the kitchen ends. I briefly thought of wedging my way in on Mr. Bitchford and Paula's love affair, but I changed my mind. At least he doesn't have the hots for a skank like Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton. So, for now, the score stands with Paula 1 and Alexandra 0, but I'll come back. I always win, Paula!

Titty McHighbeams

Sukie and I work with a woman who is really sweet, and she tends to be a little clueless. I call her Titty McHighbeams. Titty is incredibly short, but she has ginormous hooters. On top of them being giant, she has huge nipples that are erect ALL OF THE TIME! She is one of our trainers, so we spend a good bit of time sitting in front of her and being made to stare at the giant hooters. Her erect (size of teacup saucer) nipples just follow you around the room like eyeballs. I went on a business trip with her awhile back. She was a ton 'o fun because she knows all of the water cooler gossip and likes to share. We went out for drinks together, along with her McHighbeams, and we got pretty lit. We walked back to our hotel, and I noticed that Titty was totally snockered. She lifted up her cute shift dress and pressed the elevator button with her spike heel. There was a problem. She didn't have any panties on. Now I had seen Titty's snatch, and I thought that this would be a good time to ask her if her boobs were fake. I said, "Titty, now that I have seen your vagina, I think it is appropriate for me to ask if your boobs are fake? I ask because your nipples are giant, and they just stare at me ALL of the freakin' time." She giggles and says, "No. It's the McHighbeam curse. I have giant boobs and nipples. They just stay hard all of the time." We stand in awkward silence for a moment because we notice that there is another woman on the elevator. Oops! We get off of the elevator, and Titty flashes me. She giggles and stumbles off to her room. So, now when I am in a training session with Titty, I feel like it is appropriate for me to ask her to put them on low beam, please.

Texas Debates by Sukie

Pretty mild overall...Clinton tried to get a few jabs in on Obama, but the audience kept her in check, even booing her when she said, "That's not change you can believe in; that's change you can Xerox." Oops--bad move, HC...should've kept it clean.

HC needed to knock this one out of the park to make a comeback from her 11 straight losses. I don't think she hit it.

If anything, the debate was a draw. No winner.

The best part was when they got into the health care debate in more detail. The moderators kept trying to cut them off, but as I was screaming, "But this is important! This is what America needs to hear," Hillary, echoed my sentiments: "This is important" and they kept it up depsite the objections of the stupid moderators. It is an important issue--and people need to hear about it in more than te sounbites the moderators were allowing...so props to both candidates for pushing forward.

Interesting points:

Hillary mentioned John Edwards twice by name, lauding him for his health care efforts. Can you say "suck up?" ;-)

When asked about HC's plagiarism accusations, Obama countered well, getting laughs and applause from the audience: ""You know, this is where we start getting into silly season, in politics, and I think people start getting discouraged about it." Ain't that the truth...

Obama scores again when he points out that HC's implication that he and his plans aren't "real" is insulting to all the Americans who support him: "I do think there is a fundamental difference between us in terms of how change comes about. Senator Clinton of late has said: Let's get real. The implication is that the people who've been voting for me or involved in my campaign are somehow delusional," Obama said to laughter from the audience. "And that, the 20 million people who've been paying attention to 19 debates and the editorial boards all across the country at newspapers who have given me endorsements, including every major newspaper here in the state of Texas. You know, the thinking is that somehow, they're being duped, and eventually they're going to see the reality of things. Well, I think they perceive reality of what's going on in Washington very clearly."

Clinton scores some points with her final mini-speech: "You know, the hits I've taken in life are nothing compared to what goes on every single day in the lives of people across our country...". Thanks for mentioning us little people, Hill.

BUT those words seem far less heartfelt today, when it turns out, her words merely mimic those her husband uttered in 1992 (and who is she accusing of plagiarism??): "The hits that I took in this election are nothing compared to the hits the people of this state and this country have been taking for a long time." Sounds awfully similar, doesn't it?

Plus, analysts wonder if Clinton knows she's about reached the end of the line, as her voice softened and she almost got teary again and finished up the night: "Whatever happens, we're going to be fine. You know, we have strong support from our families and our friends I just hope that we'll be able to say the same thing about the American people, and that's what this election should be about." Is she preparing to say goodbye? If she doesn't pull out a major win in Texas, she's gonna have to.

Oh...but wait...did she take that from John Edwards?? On Dec. 13th, Edwards, ending his own campaign said, "All of us are going to be just fine no matter what happens in this election. But what's at stake is whether America is going to be fine." Is it maybe, just maybe, a little bit hypocritical to accuse someone of plagiarism and then borrow words from two other people? I'm just wondering...(can you say "politics as usual???").

Stupid People

My old graduate school program recently started an email list. I didn't think much of it because I don't keep in touch with any of those people (with the exception of one person). This one guy, who was a total jack ass in school, started emailing about his trouble finding a job. He went on and on and on and on...you get the point. He kept spouting all these buzz words, and then he started name dropping about all of the people he had worked with. His name is Joseph, and I've decided to write him a letter. Here is what it will sound like.
Dear Joseph,
How have you been? Wait. I don't really give a shit. I remember you from graduate school. You always wanted special treatment because you had a kid and a wife. You also used to look over my shoulder at everything I designed in our lab so that you could copy me. Don't think I didn't see that. Just because you use big words in complex sentences does not make you smarter than anyone else. In fact, if you spent less time typing stupid fucking emails that clog up my inbox, then perhaps you would find a job. Give the wife my best.
Supersize me,
Alexandra

The Doll is Giving Away Sex in a Box

The Doll is giving away sex in a box! It contains the following:

3 latex condoms
1 vibrating cock ring
3 lubricant packets, one is cherry flavored/scented, one is warming, and one is mint flavored

Enter to win today!

Ode to the Gaucho Pants

Jessie, from David's Doll, got me to thinking about gaucho pants today. Any woman I have ever seen with these on has a cameltoe. Soooo, I decided to post Fanny Pack's "You got a Cameltoe" as an ode to the gaucho pants. Enjoy!

Hypocrites!

Ugh! I have a Facebook page because (1) it is a ton o' fun and (2) I can keep in touch with some of my old college friends. I was looking through profiles today, and I found the following:

It's Unforgivable Cunt ▪ 100,000,000 Christians Worship God!

These were two groups that a person belonged to. One was right under the other. WTF? This perfectly illustrates why I am so turned off by organized religion. Fuck, people! Are you really this stupid? Please, please, please tell me it is just for show.

Sigh

Gotta love Eastwick!

Phone numbers have been erased to protect the stupid.

Faster than a speeding ballot...

In-laws Incognito...

...not anymore! I've decide to use the blog as a verbal weapon today. I know you guys are out there. I know you are planning a pub crawl in the near future. Did you notice that Mr. Bitchford and I weren't on your invite list? Did you just overlook us? Well, we know about it! We're gonna be there. Whatcha think of them apples? You know what else? It's being planned around my birthday. You wanna know what else? NO ONE INVITED ME! I'm totally not bitter or upset about it, though. ;)

A Really Long Rant...

You know what? I'm just going to give it all up and start doing other people's jobs for them--from the beginning. That way, I won't have to waste so much time and effort cleaning up their messes when they fuck it all up.

So I'm on this team for this project at work. The so-called leader of this work group is the biggest freaking-A moron ever--let us call her Ms. Frizzy Head. Yes, that'll work.

Ms. Frizzy Head probably hasn't had a coherent thought since, oh, I don't know...sometime in the mid '70s, a time period during which I think the bitch tripped on acid a few too many times. This is also the last time she probably brushed that bird's nest hair. But alas, I digress...

For this project, like oh-so-many work-world projects, we need to print things. Well, we have photocopiers for that...but we have those photocopiers into which you must punch a code number before you can use it...you know so they can track who's doing how much of what for what projects--and make sure people aren't making superfluous copies of their asses for shits and giggles.

Well, within our division, we get a new copy code for each big new project. There's also a general copy code for the division--in case you need copies that aren't related to a big project.

So...we're working on Project X, which, for some inexplicable reason, has not yet received its copy code. So, when we had a meeting earlier this week, Ms. Frizzy Head comes with no copies of anything--for anyone. Why? Because she didn't have a copy code. So I ask her, "Did you call Stacy (the woman in charge of assigning copy codes)." No, of course she didn't call Stacy. So after the meeting, at my suggestion, our frazzled leader e-mails Stacy and attempts to explain to her, rather incoherently, that we need a copy code. She copies me on this e-mail, which makes no sense. It looks like this:

Stacy,
We need copies, what numbers for copies do
we need?
Frizzy

Naturally, Stacy, who handles about a dozen different divisions has no idea what she's talking about, so she basically e-mails her back that she doesn't understand, but that "you have a copy code you can use, and the number of copies possible on each account code varies based on the project."

Now Frizzy is all confused.

So, she e-mails me to tell me she's confused, forwarding with it Stacy's e-mail. Well, no wonder they're both confused, right? I ignore it because, quite frankly, I have more important things to do at that precise moment.

Next thing I know, Frizzy has e-mailed SIX other people about her copying dilemma, including people not even in our division and the head of the Accounting Division. She copies me on this, too. (Why? Apparently because I have a brain, and she wants me to interpret for her).

The Head of the Accounting Division then e-mails us all back, explaining that since the code has not been assigned to the project yet, Frizzy should use the general code for our division. Later, she explains, when the code has been assigned, we will transfer those copies to the correct code number. In the meantime, we need to keep track of how many copies we are using for our particular project, so we can assign those copies to the specific project account later.

Simple and clear, right?

Negative.

Frizzy e-mails me and just me and says, "I know you got this e-mail. I don't know what she's talking about. Can you figure this out?"

Yes, because I have a brain...and this means I know that Frizzy can't read, so I walk over to her fucking cubicle and explain it to her verbally. I make her repeat it back to me. Then, for back-up I type it out in 3 simple steps. And print it out. And tack it to her cubicle in front of her face.

Later, we have another meeting--with no copies. And I'm like, Frizzy! WTF?? We're trying to get some shit together for clients and we can't even print the shit out and copy it?? She explains that we still don't have a project copy account number. Oh, for the love, of FSM. I walk out, walk to her cubicle, pull down the directions, and hand them to her:

Step One: Use our division code for copies for now.

Step 2: Write down how many copies you make.

"Do you know our general account number?" I ask her.

"Yes," she says to me.

"Then, use it to make some copies!" I tell her.

Fast-forward.

I get an e-mail, copied to EVERYone and her grandma, from the Head of Accounting:

"I thought I had already explained to you all that you should use your division code until the project account is assigned. Please do this. Later, I will ask you for the number of copies for this project so far. You will give them to me. I will transfer that number into your project account."

WTF?

So, I walk back over to Frizzy's: "What is going on with the photocopying?"

She tells me she re-e-mailed the Head of Accounting and Stacy to ask them AGAIN for the procedure to make copies because "we can't make copies until we have a code!"

WTF?

FOUR DAYS HAVE PASSED.

I take some of the originals off Frizzy's desk and go to the photocopier. I put in the division code. I make the copies. I distribute the copies to the rest of our work group like the fucking photocopy fairy. I give copies to Frizzy.

Then, what does Frizzy do?

She looks at me in awe, hugs me (ew!), and says, "OMG! You are so incredible! How did you manage to get those copies for us???"

Are you serious?

I punched in the code and hit "Copy." Then, I wrote down the number of copies I made on a Post-it. Later, I will e-mail this number to Head of Accounting.

How hard is this??

But then it gets even better.

Frizzy apparently sits down at her desk and fires off this ridiculously rude e-mail to Head of Accounting. Are you serious?? This woman is in charge of all the money! Why, oh, why would you piss her off?? But in a miraculous moment of actual intelligence, Frizzy runs it by me before hitting send.

I tell her she cannot send that e-mail, explaining,

"If your purpose is to express to her that you are angry, this would work. However,if your purpose is merely to inform her of the source of your frustration/confusion, then I think this may be, as you called it, a little over the line. After all, what would it accomplish? It would probably just make her angry, too, which would likely just result in an angry e-mail back. I would go with something a little more diplomatic (you know what they say about burning bridges), like this..."

Then she e-mails me back:

Thank you so much. That is a much better tone. No need to burn bridges or go to Defcom-3. I will cut and paste your version, if that is OK with you.

Seriously?? Now, I have to write your e-mails for you? How in the hell did you get into a supervisory position?? How have you stayed with this company for so long?? How have you not managed to accidentally stop breathing?

Then she came over and hugged me two times for being "so brilliant."

And this is why I hate 98% of the people I work with. They are seriously as dumb as bricks.

I'm just curious...

Doesn't Congress have better things to do than worry about whether or not Roger Clemens was injected with steroids ten years ago?

That is all.

Want some candy?

You can download a free copy of Suze Orman's Women and Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny from Oprah.com.

Offer expires Thursday (2-14) night at 8 PM EST.

I'd just like to say...

(because I have a blog, and Valerian Root makes me a little loopy...I think this might be better than your Xanax, Alex...oh, and because I managed to keep my mouth mostly shut at work for, like, 3 weeks now)

that I think Super Delegates are a crock. Isn't it a little not Democratic to say that certain people's votes count more and could potentially trump our votes...

and that I'm sick to death of grown adults who act like children...

and that I hate, like, 98% of the people at my place of employment (but I didn't major in math)...

and I think it's stupid that grown-ups can't even do the simplest assigned tasks at work (I wrote the number down for you--all you had to do was copy it onto the form!)...

and Fuck teamwork...shit gets done and done right and more quickly when I just do it my damn self...

and that's because 98% of the people I work with are complete and total jackasses disguised as regular human beings...

and Fuck my doctor for thinking melatonin and blood pressure meds would cure my insomnia (I haven't had more than 4 hours of sleep one night in two weeks)...

and that it's 2008 and you should know how to use a damn computer--there's one on every damn desk in this building...

and no one gives a rat's ass about what your kid did at school yesterday...we just want this stupid fucking meeting to end for the love of FSM!

and Seriously? Thanks for the praise, but I didn't build a fucking rocket...all I did to fix your stupid problem was to pick up the phone and dial a number and ask somebody...now, why the fuck couldn't you do that? It's called a motherfucking brain, bitch...use it--I know you have it because you're still fucking breathing.

and Hey, Fatty McFatterton: PS: you're fat because you eat Fast Food EVERY fucking day. Yeah, that's right--I see that Zaxby's on your desk again! I'm not because I had a salad for lunch...so stop telling me it's just because I'm blessed by your crazy Down-Home Baptist God.

The end (for now).

What in the Duck is Going on?

This is the Christmas card that a woman running for local office sent out this past year. It has recently surfaced and caused a stir. What are people thinking? And, yes, it was serious and not a cruel joke being played on her by the opponent.

Ain't no mountain high enough...

Or so thinks Mike Huckabee who just ain't gonna quit no matter how dim his prospects look. Says, the Huckster when confronted with the mathematical impossibility of his nomination: "I didn't major in math. I majored in miracles." Well, that will be helpful in restoring the economy after this recession we're barreling into, thanks Huck. Seriously, though, this quote had Jack and me rolling last night. Every thirty minutes or so, we'd just quote Huck: "IDK--I didn't major in math. I majored in miracles!" But I guess majoring in miracles didn't hurt too much in the Southern state of Louisiana--or in Kansas, where he beat out McCain with 60% of the vote (WTF??), or even in Washington State where (as of right now--still calculating results) he made an impressive show with 24% of the vote to McCain's 26%. (Notably, Ron Paul walked away with what looks like 21% of the vote in Washington--even though he might as well be out of the race. I'm not sure what the people in Washington were thinking with that one, but, um, okay...). The conservative Republicans are sending John McCain a clear message: "We don't really like you." Huck took Kansas by a landslide, and Louisiana's results are still being calculated, but the results there are at least close. Here's what it boils down to: social conservatives do not like John McCain. They're upset that the Republican party has not presented them with a clear conservative choice for President. They want someone who is adamantly pro-life, who will staunchly opposed gay marriage, who will put judges on the Supreme Court who will vote that way, too. They want a "true conservative" (particularly on social issues). And with Romney gone, that person is Mike Huckabee (God help us). Now, it continues to be mathematically impossible for the Huckster to win enough delegates to get the nomination. But here's what could potentially happen if God starts granted all those miracles Huck's been studying: he could keep John McCain form getting enough to get the nomination. Then, the Republicans will be forced into a different kind of convention: one in which the delegates no longer have to vote the way they're supposed to now--they could vote for whichever candidate they personally want to. This basically gives Huck a snowball's chance in Hell, but you know...he did major in miracles, so...

On the Democratic side, Barack rocked the vote, winning 3 out of 3 states last night: Washington State (with 68% of the vote), Louisiana, and Nebraska (with 68% of the vote). Louisiana sent just as clear a message to Democrats: "We're tired of business as usual. We're tired of the government making promises it can't keep. We want change." They voted Barack Obama by 57%. The difference, though, really becomes most clear when you look closely at the results from the ninth ward in NOLA, where voters overwhelmingly chose Barack Obama over Clinton. The precinct results there show numbers like 10 to 1 for Obama. Bottom line: Clinton has 1,100 delegates and Obama has 1,039, according to CNN calculations. Obama leads in pledged delegates -- 908 to 877 -- but Clinton's superdelegates -- 223 to 131 -- give her the overall lead. BUT there are still states left to go...there's still voting left to do...and the next three weeks aren't looking so hot for Clinton. Even she admits Obama has the advantage in the states where voting will happen in that time period. She's waiting for the bigger contests in Ohio and Texas--and planning to win there. Hopefully, though, she's overestimating those states...then again, I didn't major in miracles...so I'm not sure... ;-)

The White Devil

I went to a co-worker's father's funeral today. My co-worker is black, and I didn't really think much about that until I got to the funeral. I went with two other co-workers who are also black. I got there, and I was the only white person there. There were a TON of people! One of my co-workers asked me if I had ever been to a black funeral, and I told her no. She told me that they were very spiritual and not to worry about being the only white person because they would welcome me. We got in line to get into the church. Ushers kept pulling people from behind us and taking them to their seats. We were finally the only ones left outside. An usher told us that we would have to go to the overflow room. This was in the basement. We got there, and it was cold. The heat was not on down there. They had three fold-out chairs and a speaker down there. He told us we could listen to the sermon from there. My co-workers looked at each other kind of funny, and I realized what was happening. The white girl and her friends were not going to get upstairs. There were three people that spoke about the man who had died. One talked about the time they were kids and three white kids stole their candy. Oh boy. The preacher came on and started talking about people going to hell and burning. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Then he started talking about the upcoming election and how the white man wouldn't win. Whoa! Then he started screaming that people needed to be saved. Apparently he saved nine people in the dead man's name. I wouldn't really know because I was in the basement. We finally went to leave. My co-workers were mortified. One kept apologizing. It wasn't her fault. A deacon pulled me aside and apologized to me. I told him I came for my co-worker and no one else. I thanked him. I felt like the white devil.

My New Drug of Choice...Meanness!

You guys know I like to fart around on forums and talk politics with folks (that was just for you Sukie). Sukie hates the word folks, ya'll. Anyway, I decided this morning to make one guy my stress punching bag for the day. Do you know what was terrible? Everyone else jumped on board. Mrs. Flax made mention (on Jessie's blog) of how you can smell the weak. Well, this guy's fingers were definitely whispering "douche bag" as they stroked his keys. We sort of tore him apart like we were a tribe and going to eat him. Before you think I'm just completely cruel, please understand that he was plagiarizing every post, and it was really pissing everyone off. The point is that I was able to calm down by pointing out all of his flawed opinions and ideas. I wonder what that says about me. Don't answer that.

Presidential Masturbation

I totally get it! :) Any other confessions?

Truly Nasty

I started a list of different names for the vagina awhile back. I heard a new one today that I just had to share. It is quite possibly the nastiest, but funniest thing I have heard in awhile. Are you ready? Drumroll, please...

The Salty Piss Flaps

Oh...

I probably should NOT promote this (lest some moron take it seriosuly), but this cookie commercial cracks my sh*t up: "My mom bakes cookies. Does that make her a bad person?"

They've got a "A-Rock-O Bama / Blac-o-rama" one, too: "Barack Obama lied to the American people when he told us he's a black person. He is not black. I should know because I'm black," says a really caucasion girl.
Sh*t had me rolling on the floor.

Swift kids, btw, in case you missed it, is a play off Swiftboating, so these are clearly meant to be as funny as they are

Bitch, please...Part Deux

Do you guys remember me talking about one of my classmates, Ava? Well, Ava was up to her sneaky ass tricks again today. Part of my class is online, and sometimes we have to read articles our professor posts and comment on them. That was our task this week. We had about 10 articles to read and start discussion threads on. It was fairly interesting...until today. The discussions were to wrap up today, and we meet face-to-face tomorrow evening. So, I'm sitting at my desk and checking my email...Ava's email address comes up. This is what she said.
Alexandra,
I haven't gotten my transcripts to the college yet, so I'm not loaded into the online program. I can't access the articles that have been up. Could you download those for me and email them?

WTF, Ava? Why didn't you remedy this before today WHEN THE DISCUSSION WRAPS UP? The following was my response.
Ava,
No.
Alexandra

People have some nerve!

Yes We Can

Celebrating Choices

I used to be a huge fan of Sex and the City when it was on the air. Carrie Bradshaw would talk about attending friends' engagement parties, bridal showers, and baby showers. She would bitch about how if you were single with no children, then no one was interested in celebrating your choices. She had a point. No one makes a "Congratulations! You didn't saddle yourself with a loser" card. No one makes a "Congrats! You know how to use birth control, so you don't have any unwanted children" card. Now, I do like celebrating my friends' choices, but that is only if the person is my friend. I get so many invitations at work from people that I barely know. No! I don't want to give $50 towards the gift card for Susie. This her third child, and she should have gotten enough presents from her first two showers. Plus, she's a hateful bitch. If you don't give, though, then you are seen as mean. No one has bothered to give me a "Congratulations! You haven't bent to the pressure to marry your long-time boyfriend, even though everyone in this office is trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with you" party. No one has bothered to give Sukie a "Congratulations! You didn't have a baby that you didn't want just to follow society's rules" party. My only conclusion from all of this is that I so need to start a card company because there have to be more women like me out there.

Ann Coulter Needs a Sandwich...and Perhaps a Xanax

She's done it again. Ann Coulter wasn't getting any media attention, so she had to act like the media whore she is. She has stated that if John McCain is the pubbies nominee, then she will support Hillary Clinton. Well, first of all, I don't think Senator Clinton would want her support. I would hope that she would politely say, "Bitch, please." Why do people listen to this woman? I know, I know...I'm blogging about her. In my defense, it's because I don't get it. There are some dem commentators who I find very entertaining, but I don't really listen to them. I've heard people (granted it was in Eastwick) comment on how much they respect this woman. Someone please enlighten me!
On another political note, I was a total and complete loud mouth in the eyeglasses place yesterday. There were two women being waited on by the general manager. Mr. Bitchford and I were waiting our turn to speak to the manager because he was getting his glasses adjusted. They all three were loudly talking about how Barack Obama is Muslim. I kept thinking in my head, "He is NOT Muslim you dumb Eastwickean bitches!" After 15 minutes of this bullshit, I couldn't take it anymore. I yelled from my seat, "He is NOT Muslim. He is NOT Muslim. He is NOT Muslim. What is wrong with you people?" Maybe I do need some drugs to calm me down. ;)