Sukie and Alex Ride The Bus

With the price of gas skyrocketing and in an attempt to save not only money but also the environment, Alexandra and I have decided to forgo driving for public transportation. In Eastwick, this means riding the bus.

If anything, the bus is good blog material. Yesterday morning, when all we poor people at the bus stop were loading on, this big black guy does a double-take in my direction. "Whoa," he says, I thought you was Jennifer Tilly. Anybody ever tell you you look just like Jennifer Tilly?" Alex starts laughing because, in fact, both she and Mr. B have told me this since I went dark. And it just so happens that Revlon Color Silk was on sale at Target for $2.50, so I just darkened back up.

I laugh and explain that Alex and Mr. B. have both said that. He looks at me again, hard. "You sure you ain't her?"

"Yeah."

Him: "I was gonna say, man, times are tough when Jennifer Tilly's got to ride the bus."

(Don't ask me what Jennifer Tilly's doing getting on a bus in Eastwick.)

We all laugh at that, and the discussion turns to the ridiculous price of gas.

Now, we're barelling down the road towards work. Big Black Guy (BBG) declares, "Why we begging them for more oil? Why we don't just take it? We been over there for how long spending billions of dollars...come on, why we don't just take it? That's what I'd do--don't ask just take it!" Everyone on the bus laughs a little but contemplates that idea for a minute. Then, BBG asks, "Hey, Jennifer Tilly--you ever seen Mind of Mencia?"

"Yeah."

"I was watching that the other day and he was talking about how them people over there hate pigs and we ought to just start bombing 'em with pigs. You know, drop pigs on 'em."

This gets everyone laughing.

He says, "But really think about it: we could spend millions of dollars to drop some bombs and end this war, take the oil, or we could spend a whole lot less on pigs."

Alex says, "PETA wouldn't like that."

I say, "We could outfit them with parachutes. That way they wouldn't be harmed. They'd land alive and just start running around."

The visual of this gets us both laughing again.

And that's what you get when you ride the Eastwick bus. Forget ANWR. Drop some pigs in the Middle East, and our oil concerns will be erased. The War on Terror will be over, and we will be the clear victors--and we'll have saved a bunch of money while we're at it.

Ah, the wonders of public transportation...