Happy 4th Bitches!

I took off for the beach today to meet up with ALL of my family. I was actually looking forward to it because I haven't had a vacation in awhile. Lord knows Sukie and I deserve one. BTW, Sukie, your ass should be here! Anyway, I was on my way out of Eastwick when a peroxide bitch comes flying up behind me in her shiny, new Jetta. She was about 18 and was on her cell phone. Apparently, I was not going fast enough. I was going 10 miles over the speed limit, but this was not enough for her. I immediately slammed on my brakes because nothing would please me more than having her designer lip gloss smeared all over her special edition leather steering wheel. Bitch was fast, though. She swerved to the left and barely missed me. I was somewhat disappointed because I would have loved nothing more than her daddy buying me my own shiny, new Jetta. We got to a stoplight, and she zoomed past giving me the Eastwickean bird. This is what really happened. Here is what I wanted to happen:
We pull into the next McDonald's and both clamor out of our cars. She immediately begins screaming at me about being a slow ass driver. I'm silent with rage. She then walks towards me bobbing her head and waving her arms. This is where I catch one of her arms in mid air. I then proceed to tell her that if she even thinks of saying one more word to me that I will punch her in the face and ruin all of that expensive orthodontic work that daddy paid for. Then I will wrap her peroxide weave around my hand and rip her bald! Woo Hoo!
I really just flipped her off right back, called her a stupid whore, and continued with my drive to the beach. Happy 4th!