I admit it...

I can't believe that these two programs are actually on the air. More importantly, I can't believe I've watched them:

1) Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. Granted, I just went to a Poison concert last month, and Bret Michaels still looked damn good from where I was sitting. But I wouldn't fight with a bunch of hussies for the pleasure of screwing him. And yet, I am amused by women who do just that. I particularly like when Bret, in complete and total seriousness, discusses his instant "connection" with one of the women: "It was like our souls touched...she has a great rack." Nice, Bret, really, nice. I laughed my ass off...way better than Flavor of Love, which just made me want to vomit the few times I was forced to watch it. Oh, and I do love how the episodes play off Poison song titles...I mean, what's not to love about an episode entitled "Talk Dirty to Me" in which the Bret-lover-hopefuls engage in a phone-sex challenge???

2) Scott Baio is 45 and Single. OMG! I swear, nothing is funnier than Charles in Charge trying to figure out, with the help of a life coach, why he isn't married...especially when he's signing autographs with Joanie, and his wanna-be-a-frat-boy 45+ pal comes in to tear him away...for fun with strippers. Hmmm...Scott...I don't know why you're single.