The Bitches of Eastwick

This idiot from Delaware keeps calling my cell phone. Over and over and over. It started last night—right after I’d fallen into a good, deep sleep. It ruined my whole night.

Now, it’s been going on all day. Every couple of hours, the darn thing rings again…and there is one of three different Delaware numbers there. I KNOW NO ONE IN DELEWARE. Yet, whoever this is keeps calling my number DESPITE the fact that my voicemail clearly says my name and despite the fact that the last several times, I screamed into the phone, “STOP CALLING ME! I don’t know YOU! You don’t know ME! Stop dialing this number!!” And more recently: “OLA! Do You Habla espanol? NO MAS! NO MAS CALL! Comprende?” (Yes, that’s about the most Spanish I know—and it’s about all the foreign language I know…) The answer is almost always the same: a few “Hello??”s followed by confused silence with breathing. You would think the fact that he’s used three different phones to call the same number might be some indication that I am not his friend…I am not whoever he is trying to reach. One time, I even rang him back and asked, “WHY?? Why do you keep calling me? I don’t know you. You don’t know me. Stop calling this number!!” Just now, it happened again, and I answered sweetly, “Hello?” And he says, “Hello.” And I say, “Seriously. Stop calling me. Just stop. I don’t know you. Stop.” He hung up…and will undoubtedly call again. ARGH!!!

I am SO annoyed…but the people in my office think it’s really funny—they laugh every time I start screaming into the phone again. UNBELIEVABLE!!