Sukie's Completely Logical Analysis of the Video Posted Below

First of all, no one gets to call on Agent Mulder like that, ok? Totally not cool—especially since that kid sounds nothing like David Duchovny (I mean, I watched the X-Files religiously). And also, is this dumbass video suggesting then that aliens are also explained by creationism? Because I gotta tell ya, when they took me up in that UFO last week…

Second, I am not even going to get into the whole the Bible cannot be taken literally argument here because quite frankly, I think it's a given, and if you don't, you should totally buy these videos for your kid.And tell him to look out for dinosaurs on the way to school next week.

Currently, I’m searching my Bible for the part where it says “death, disease and bloodshed are a consequence of sin.” I’m annoyed they didn’t cite that chapter and verse. I mean, he points to the words in his Bible. He says, "The Bible clearly says..." I can see the words, but I can't see what book of the Bible he's reading. I put those key terms into bible.com, and I got no hits…so I’m just curious—where exactly did God say this? I tried googling it, too, but all I get is more bullshit like this:

I should note that you also get a fun article called "How to build a bomb in a public school system."

But no chapter and verse. Finally, I found a guy who claimed it to be in Romans 5:12, which I looked up (KJ version):

"Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned"

Not exactly a good paraphrase, now is it? I guess it does have the word "death," which is something.

I found another possibility in 1 Corinthians 15:21-22:

"For since by man came death, by man came also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive."

Again, I don't know what Bible fake Agent Mulder is reading, but insofar as I can tell, it ain't the Christian one. Therefore, creationists can't read. (How you like that logic, bitch?)

I also noticed that following this supposed verse, is an explanation beginning with "In Genesis...". Now, it's been a while since I read the thing cover to cover, but I am pretty sure that no other book of the Bible refers to another book by name like that. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. So, clearly, Kid Mulder is reading from a creationist text and not the Bible. In simpler terms, he's a fucking liar.

So if you are following Sukie logic, creationists can't read and are fucking liars.

Don't even get me started on the chick who wrote the note in Agent Mulder's bible...who's she...Scully? Another alien? M'kay.

So now that the technical stuff is out of the way, let's look at the premise based upon this fake Bible verse: Since sin was created by Adam, and death exists because Adam sinned, fossils could not have existed prior to Adam's sin. Uh-huh. I really hope the kiddies for whom this video is intended are following this logic...

Now, because fossils could not have existed before Adam sinned, any fossils recovered by scientists must be from some time between Adam's sin and now. Thus, when scientists find fossils and carbon date them and discover they are millions of years old, they are just wrong. Because the world is only 10,000 years old. After all, the Bible says so. This is what Billy Bob the fucking redneck safari man is trying to explain with his animated collapse of the pile of bones beneath the formerly perfect world.

Therefore, creationists are rednecks.

Then, we're back to fucking dinosaurs not being man-eaters again. Therefore, the theory of evolution is wrong. Follow that? Because dinosaurs were originally vegetarians, we should all believe that they were created on the 6th day--same day as man, which means they can't be millions of years old--only as old as poor, dead Adam. Forget those dinosaur fossils that have been carbon dated. Forget all the scientific proof! Evolution is a hoax designed to make you sin more, and have more death, bloodshed, disease, etc.

Sukie's "logical" conclusion based on this video: creationists believe in aliens, can't read, are fucking liars, and are fucking rednecks, who are destined to lives of death, bloodshed, and disease. (They also probably build public school bombs, but I'm not sure on that).