Monster In-Laws

Actually, I really dig my in-laws, but it's funny to watch peoples' faces when I say they are coming. They do not venture into Eastwick very often because they used to live here. They pretty much hated it just like I do. They've since moved to the land of a blue state and are enjoying themselves. They just adopted a new dog, so she will be coming too. Apparently, she is giant and likes to jump on your lap. Oh well, it's better than a screaming kid with a loaded diaper. I was trying to prepare for their arrival because I wanted the house to be freaky clean and shit. What did I do? I threw out my back.

The last time they visited I had managed to throw out my back. I had been dancing with one of the dogs...don't ask...and it just went out on me. I was trying to throw away a giant bag of used kitty litter this time and out it went. Sometimes I wonder if I'm all that different or if people just don't talk about the real shit that goes down in their houses. Anyway, I've been hobbling around behind poor Mr. Bitchford and directing him on how to dust. He's such a good man. He hasn't said one cross word to me yet. Shit, I've annoyed myself a few times.

Isn't it funny how crazy we get when someone is coming to visit? I don't expect someone's house to be spotless. I just expect there to be no pubs on the toilet seat and no hair in my food. That's about it. I don't care about dust or a little clutter. Hey, at least I'm not going to serve them any meat from the door-to-door black market meat salesman.

On a side note, here's a shout out to Jessie at David's Doll. She just landed a professional photography gig. Snaps for The Doll!