The Bitch is Back

I had to go out of town on business. It was ok except for today. I had to threaten a shuttle driver with my car key. I didn't recognize his creative route to the airport, and he wouldn't talk to me about where we were going. I freaked out a little bit, and I told him I was going to gouge out his eyes with my car keys if he tried to kidnap me. He looked at me like I was a sad little American lady.
Next, I try to check in, but there is a mega long line. I notice that the village idiots are not checking themselves in. They are waiting on two (yes, only two) people to check them in. I team up with the girls behind me, and we start to heckle them. "Hey lady! That computer is open. Just slide in your credit card and keep moving." "Hey man! Get your finger out of your ass and move it!" We then decided to break in line and check ourselves in. Sukie would have been so proud of me.
I finally make it home only to find out my luggage did not. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!