Anything to keep my mind off the heat...

Dear K-Fed,

While no one can fault you for "being concerned" about your kids, your attempt to gain full custody is frivolous. First of all, giving children soda may not be the best idea, but it is not grounds for termination of the joint custody agreement. Second, your claims that her "erratic" behavior is grounds for you to gain full custody are unfounded. If your ex-wife wants to swim topless with a hot co-ed, that's her prerogative. It's not like the kids were there. They were with the nanny, which she can afford. Now, if she starts having orgies in front of the kids, you can re-file for full custody, and I'll be your biggest supporter. While we're discussing your claims that her behavior is "erratic," I must point out to you that her rolling her car into another one is not equivalent to being involved in a "car crash." It's on video. She barely tapped the car. And the kids weren't in the car. Finally, if you get full custody, how do you intend to support those two kids? Oh yeah, she's already giving you $60,000 a month for support. I'm assuming you'll want an increase. That's ridiculous. You shouldn't ask for full custody when you can't financially support the children. You need to grow up, get a job, and be a man, and quit going back to your ex-wife for more dough under the guise of "being concerned" about your children. You knew what you were getting into when you f*cked her. You knew what kind of mother she'd be. If you were so concerned, you should have worn a condom. And, since you are so concerned now, may I recommend a vasectomy? I don't think you need to be having any more kids.

Sukie