Friday, October 26, 2007

The Potty Police

One of my pet peeves is pee on a seat. (hehe...alliteration! Sort of.) Anyway, I went into our communal restroom, and a woman was coming out of the only free stall. I stepped in, and the seat was covered in pee. It looked like she had actually positioned herself over the toilet while hoola hooping and peeing. What the fuck, lady? I then did something I've never had the nerve to do. I'm not sure if it's because it's Friday or because I'm wearing my snappy, new Betsy Johnson heels. Whatever the reason, I stepped back out of the stall, and I asked her why she had peed all over the seat. First, she stared at me like, "What did you just ask me?" My response to this look was, "Well?" She said, "There was pee on it before I went in there, and I didn't want to sit down." Ever hear of toilet paper? Every hear of a seat cover? Damn! I then asked, "So, should I have to clean up your piss because you didn't feel like cleaning the seat before you skanked it all up?" She then told me I was very rude and left. Again, what the fuck? How can I be rude when you pissed the seat all up? I think The Bitches should start a campaign. It will be called "Please be Neat and Clean the Seat, you Dirty Bitch!" If everyone would just sit her happy ass down on the seat, then there would be no pee. And, yes, I am aware that pee is sterile, but I still don't want to sit down in someone else's.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

I cant believe you confronted her! That right there is full of win.

I used to work at this produce store, and it was right off the freeway. It was a common trucker stop, and a stop that people coming out of Mexico would use for potty time. Unfortunately, employees shared a bathroom with all who went inside.

Truckers would take big nasty shits in the womens bathroom, even if the mens was open, and not flush.

Crazy old ladies, oh this is just fun here, they would poo in the sink, smear it on the walls, on the toilet, then walk out like nothing happened. Oh but claim that it was already like that.

People from Mexico, (omg RACISMZ!) No, Im talking actual Mexico residents were famous for crapping and pissing on the floor. This is because many of them dont have toilets like we do here in the states, and they just go in holes on the ground. If you go to the county health clinic, there are signs begging you not to pee in the floor drain. And my aunt, when she hired mexicans to work at her company, she had to potty train them because they peed on the walls!

You should have followed her out of the bathroom to continue the conversation in front of others. THAT would be full of win.

Barb Smith said...

What a skanky ho'!! I'm sorry...I'm a sitter and I clean before I sit but dayum, why did she have to piss all over the sest! YEA for you confronting her...she needed it! :)

Cricky said...

Oh how I would have loved to been there for the confrontation.

I am a sitter. I can not hover as it makes my performance anxiety even worse.

I'm onboard for that campaign. Especially if there will be buttons and flyers.