Thursday, August 7, 2008

Little House on the Prairie According to Alexandra

It's been so fucking hot lately that I find myself coming home, stripping down, and watching t.v. I don't even move. The good thing is that as I was channel surfing this evening, I stumbled across a piece of my childhood. As a child, I remember going to my friends' houses and how they would watch television with their entire families. We never did this. My dad had a LaZBoy that sat directly in front of the television. This meant that he made all of the choices, and you could sit in the floor beside his chair. This sounds really mean, but it wasn't. It's just how things were. When I was really young, there was only one show that my entire family would gather together to watch. This was Little House on the Prairie. I would wait for that famous music and for that buck-toothed little girl to coming stumbling down the hill. If the episode started out with snow, my dad would say, "God damn it! I'm not watching Charles Ingalls stomp through the god damn snow all night." That meant that family night had ended. I can't say I blame him. If I happen to watch Little House today, I will change the channel when I see snow. Ruins the whole fucking episode. I was channel surfing today, and I came across the episode titled "For the Love of Johnny Johnson." Now, Johnny was a ginger haired boy, who couldn't read very well. He also wore high water overalls and had no fucking shoes. How hot can you be, right? Well, Laura's dookie brown eyes would soften every time he came around. She loved him. Of course, this meant that he loved her older, more attractive sister, Mary. Basically, Laura pines over dumb ass, shoeless Johnny Johnson throughout the episode. He wants Mary, but she doesn't want him. The tragic love triangle. In the end, Laura ends up not hating her sister and learning some all important lesson. It's ok, though. Mary gets hers in the end. Bitch goes blind in later episodes. I'm thinking of borrowing all of the episodes from my sister because, yes, she owns them. I gave them to her! If it hadn't been for my dad's odd fondness of Little House family night, I may never have known of Pa Ingalls, Reverend Alden, Miss Beattle, and the whole gang. Any other Little House fans out there???

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh. My. God. My family is obsessed with this show. My sister will randomly start screaming MY BABY! MY BABY! MY BABY! and my brother in law often mocks the blind and deaf kids who were caught in that snow or sand storm or whatever by going MISTA IN-GUUULS! MISTA... IN-GUUUUUUUULS!

Please tell me you know which episodes I mean.

Mrs. Flax said...

Oh Jessie, I totally know. Should I be proud or ashamed of that? And Alex, I can still hear the blind children singing "Go Tell It On The Mountain" from a similarly tragic triangle involving Hester Sue, a scruffy but loveable farmer, and a big fat guy with lots of money. Affable scruffy guy won in the end, hymns were sung, all was well. And if I remember correctly, dad also refused to watch any episode involving anthrax, plague, or any other disease that ended up with the blind school being made into a hospital while Pa and Mr. Edwards valiantly went to find medicine. Oh no, not rats in the wheat again!! One of my favorite story lines, just for its complete grossness, is Albert's morphine addiction. More phine, please! Okay, it's entirely too late, I'm waxing delusional.

Anonymous said...

The episode where the wild dogs attack haunts me to this day.

Mrs. Flax said...

Yep, but there was always Jack, Bandit, Bunny, and Jasper to renew your faith in the prairie animals. In fact, when I thought Jack was swept down the river and lost forever on the trip from the Big Woods, I very nearly expired with grief.