Perhaps Sukie and I will end up Oz

Eastwick has tornadoes flying all around. The major universities in our area are having all students take cover. All public schools are letting out, which is odd because wouldn't you want your child to take cover and not be waiting on you outside? I digress. I have no clue where Mr. Bitchford is. He'll probably call and say, "What weather?" I'm sitting in the basement on my laptop. The doggies are all freaked out, and the cat just wants to smell them. At least the sirens aren't still going off. I'll be back for an update!

Update 3:50 p.m.
Freaking the fuck out! On the phone with Sukie! Damn it. One of my gutters is loose. Piece of shit house! Still don't know where Mr. Bitchford is. :(

Update 4:00 p.m.
Lots of thunder. My trash can just blew by, but I saw it stop at a tree. Dogs are barking at the rain. Stupid dogs.

Update 4:04 p.m.
Very still outside. Rain has stopped. Not a good sign. Why do I always have to take a shit when I can't get a toilet? Damn it! I guess the storm has scared the shit out of me, literally.

Update 4:09 p.m.
Mr. Bitchford is home! He's pissed at all the crazy fuckers on the road. He's scowling at me. I'm logging off now. I'll be back.

Update 4:14 p.m.
The radio weatherman says we are experiencing a hook echo. Mr. Bitchford said that he saw two small funnel clouds on his way home. Craziness! I'm gonna go call Sukie.

Update 4:30 p.m.
A zebra has been reported in the road...and a camel. The fence flew away at a local petting zoo. All animals are fine. It's like fucking Noah's Ark up in here. It looks like the worst is over.

Last Update 4:53 pm.
Looks like all is clear, but there is a hell of a mess. Everyone is safe and accounted for!