Damn, Patricia!

I was on my way home today, and I was feeling a little stressed. I decided to take the back way home and go around the lake. No one ever goes that way. I'm cruising along and listening to some Dolly Parton. I was just chillin'. Then it happened. This woman pulled out in front of me and wouldn't go. She was on her phone. I don't mean she was annoying. I mean she was driving 20 in a 35 zone. She would cross the bridges over the lake and slow down to 10 mph. Bitch was pissing me off. I noticed an ad on her car window. It was a big Avon sign with a phone number. I'd had enough. *I called it! She answered! "Hi. This is Patricia." I said, "Well, Patricia, you pulled out in front of me, and now you won't even do the speed limit. I've had a stressful day and would appreciate it if you could move the fuck on." She slowed down again, and she looked in her rear view mirror. I waved. She took off doing about 60 mph. I continued my relaxing drive home while listening to Dolly's sweet voice.

*I realized that this story sounded a little crazy, so I saved Patricia's number in my phone. When I got home, I showed it to Mr. Bitchford and suggested he call her. He wouldn't do it, but he did believe me!