Oh, Shytonia!

Mr. Bitchford and I decided to do a little shopping this afternoon. We like to go dig around in TJMaxx and Ross Dress for Less. I know it's a little trashy, but it makes us happy to buy discounted items. The only drawback is that other Eastwickeans are out and about. TJMaxx is full of the soccer moms who like to push their buggies into you. It's a little uppity. Ross Dress for Less is mecca for all of the loud, pushy Eastwickean bitches. I can usually hang, though. ;) So, I was digging through the discounted pencil skirts because I need a new one. All of a sudden I felt an article of clothing being pressed against my back. I turn around, and there is an entire family of loud, pushy Eastwickean bitches. One looks at me and says, "Girl, please. You the same size as Shytonia. I need to see if this dress would fit her." I was ok with that. I kind of thought it was funny. At least they weren't pushing me around with their buggies full of discounted Christmas items. I wandered over to the dress section because you just never know what you will find. I ran into the same family, but this time they weren't alone. I heard one of them yell at another girl across the store. "Bitch! Keep my name out cho' mouth. It ain't a dick!" Woo hoo! It was a full-on Eastwickean brawl. They didn't come to blows, but it was still entertaining. I hope Shytonia's dress fits. Holla.