Ethical Responsibility or Not

I have a huge dilemma, and I have no idea what to do. I'm in a graduate program with several people that I work with. There are two people that are behind me in classes. They both just finished one of the more demanding professors that we have. For the purpose of this post, let's call these two folks Dip and Dope. So, Dip emails me to ask about borrowing a book. I email Dip back and say congratulations on finishing the battle axe's class. Dip sends me the following email back.

"I will call you in a bit....let's just say, I wrote Dope's final for him on a laptop on the way to class and didn't quote anything....unlike mine where I spent 2 days and quoted EVERYTHING, and Dope made a 34 out of 35, and I got a 31.5 out of 35! You do the math."

They cheated in graduate school! This is just a huge no-no. I don't condone cheating, but it does happen in high school and undergraduate school. People are young and stupid. They tend to learn. By the time you are in graduate school, you should know better than to pull this bullshit. It sounds corny, but you should really respect the institution, your professors, your classmates, and your degree more than this. Oh, and respect yourself. Mr. Bitchford thinks I should just suck it up and move on. He says the world just doesn't care. It really bothers me that my classmates and I have worked our asses off, and these two cheat their way through a course. Will they keep doing it? Who knows? Did they really even earn the degrees they currently hold? I have no utterly idea what to do...if anything. Help.

Past Pissed Off

I had a shitty day at work. Mr. Vomit is once again at the center of my shitty day. To any new readers out there, Mr. Vomit is a shit-eating dog fucker that I work with, and I'm being nice with that description. Sukie and I work on a project with him, and he basically just doesn't listen to anyone. He's very disorganized, and he fucking forgets everything. The worst thing about him is when something goes wrong, he blames everyone around him. Well, today he blamed me. He drew back a bit of a nub, but the damage was done. He went to imply that I didn't do my job, so I called him a victim. I explained that victims do not take responsibility for their own actions nor do they seek solutions. Instead, they try to push the blame off on others in the hopes that no one will notice that they fucked up royally. He shut up. Once the meeting started to break up, I tried to address him one on one. It went like this.

Me: "Mr. Vomit, I can't read your mind. If you need help with parts of the project, you need to ask me. I prefer to speak to you face-to-face and not get in an email war with you."

Mr. Vomit: "That's fine."

Me: "Clearly, you feel that I have dropped the ball. I would like to talk about this and come up with some solutions that we can both live with."

Mr. Vomit: silence

How the hell do you work with and reason with a fucktard? Seriously? I'm thinking of quitting the project because I would just really prefer to spit in his face and not talk things out. I would also like to punch him directly in his shiny "I get a facial every week" face. I don't really want to quit because I really like the project. There is no hope of him being replaced, so I just feel stuck. What's a girl to do?

Friends and Babies

My oldest friend from my hometown is having a little girl, and I'm surprisingly excited. We've been friends since we were 7 years old, and we've managed to maintain a close friendship all these years. I've always enjoyed doing nice things for my friends, but I've noticed that I'm enjoying buying for this baby more than I have others. For example, I commissioned Jessie at David's Doll to make a baby blanket. It's very pretty, and it features my friends really loud color choices. Then, I got a phone call from my sister yesterday. She was traveling for work, and she had stopped in a store that carried baby Uggs. Now, I know these shoes are hideous, but they are very warm and comfy. My friend loves Uggs, and I knew she must have a pair for the new baby. Are they not the cutest things you've ever seen?

I love putting presents together, and I'm wondering if there is anything I'm missing. So, for you moms out there, what else should I include in the present?

Self-esteem Issues

I think I have self-esteem issues. When I get ready for work in the mornings, I take one last look at myself before I leave. I think to myself, "Damn. I look good." I love the way my pencil skirt hugs my bootylicious, round ass. I like the way my secretary sweater set clings to my ample bosom. My hair is pretty and shiny. It's also very stylish and suits my small-shaped face. My eyes are the perfect shade of blue, and it takes very little eye shadow to highlight them. My teeth are straight and white, complete with a mega-watt smile. So, what's the problem? My high self-esteem has kept me from admitting that I should lose the 20 lbs. I've put on since meeting Mr. Bitchford!

I'm thinking of joining Weight Watchers. The idea of joining a group to talk about my weight and eating issues is scary. I don't want anyone to know that I have baked potatoes and Diet Coke for breakfast. I don't want anyone to know that dinner is sometimes a bag of Baked Lays cheddar and sour cream chips. Baked because I like those better than the greasy ones...not because I think they are better for me. I do need to eat more fruits and veggies. I'm getting older, and this diet of mine is going to catch up with me. I'm not overweight by any means, but I could stand to tone up and eat better. If I keep ignoring my eating habits, I will be overweight. So, should I join the group and see how it goes? Or...should I join the online version and skulk around on the message boards. I bet it would make for good blog material. :)

Scenario

I need your help. Let's say that you just connected with an old friend through Facebook. The friend constantly talks about drinking too much red wine and passing out or just being hungover. The friend's profile photos always make her look like she's drunk and is not really eating much. What do you say?

"Hi. Are you drunk in that photo?"

"I'm really worried about you. You look thin and a tad too relaxed in that photo."

Seriously, what do you say someone? Do you just leave them alone?

Eastwickeans and Religious Beliefs

I received an email yesterday. It was one of those annoying mass emails about Christmas. I've copied and pasted it for you.


*Twas the month before Christmas*
*When all through our land,*
*Not a Christian was praying*
*Nor taking a stand.*
*See the PC Police had taken away,*
*The reason for Christmas - no one could say.*
*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*
*About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.*
*It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say*
* December 25th is just a ' Holiday '.*
*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*
*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*
*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*
*Something was changing, something quite odd! *
*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*
*In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.*
*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*
* At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.*
*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears*
*You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.*
*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty*
*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*
*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*
0A
*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !*
*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*
*To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.*
*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*
* Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*
*The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded*
*The reason for the season, stopped before it started.*
*So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree'*
*Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.*
*Choose your words carefully, choose what you say*
*Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS ,
not Happy Holiday !*
Please, all Christians join together and
wish everyone you meet during the
holidays a
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Christ is The Reason for the Christ-mas Season!
If you agree please forward, if not, simply delete.

Here's the problem. Someone that I'm supposed to be pretty close to sent this to me. Normally, I would have called Sukie, bitched about it, and deleted it. It really bothered me, though, that this person should have known me better. I knew her better. I wouldn't have sent her something from Michael Moore or Moveon.org. Before I tell you what I did, I would like to hear from any readers. How would you have responded?

To Send or Not to Send

I need help. A man that used to work with me sends me political emails all of the time. Some are funny, and some are insulting. I usually just roll with the punches. He doesn't work with me anymore, and we really weren't great friends or anything. So, he sends another this morning. It's titled This is why some people shouldn't be allowed to vote!. Then it says to send it to everyone I know! It turns out that it's a Howard Stern skit. They went on the street and asked some man who he was voting for. He says Obama. They then start to say things like so, you feel like the troops should stay in Iraq. The man responds yes. Basically, they state McCain's positions and policies, but the guy is going to vote for Obama. Ok, whatever. It's just a Howard Stern skit. It just hit me wrong, though. "Send it to everyone you know!" "This is why some people shouldn't be allowed to vote!" This kept repeating in my head. So, I typed up a message.

Dear Mr. Preppypants,

I have a question for you. Why? So that a group of people can get together and create a test for others to take to determine whether or not they are smart enough to vote? That sounds all too familiar to me, Mr. Preppypants. Do you realize it wasn't all that long ago that I wouldn't have been allowed to vote because of my gender? Do you realize if there was a test that your "group" would probably be the ones affected? As I enjoy my cup of coffee on this Sunday morning and know that it's my right to go to church or not go to church, or perhaps be able to talk freely to my partner (yes, my partner because I live with him and am not married) about my political views, well...that's America, and I love it. I don't want to move backwards.

Sincerely,
Alexandra Bitchford


So, it's sitting in my draft box. Do I send it or let it go?

Update
I could also send this.

Dear Mr. Preppypants,
Stop listening to the Howard Stern Show and start listening to Meet the Press. Colin Powell just endorsed Barack Obama.

Old Friends and Old Problems

A friend of mine from graduate school was in town this weekend. She decided to have a girly weekend with her daughter. I haven't seen her in years, but I remembered all of the problems she had. She was the only one of our "group" that was married in graduate school. Her husband seemed like the nicest guy, and they just seemed to make a great couple. One night, all of the girls had gone out bar hopping, and she was with us. We all ended up at one person's house, and we spent the night. My friend had gotten really drunk, and she started to cry. She told us that her husband beat her, and she showed us where he had hit her in the back with a wine bottle. I was shocked. Of course, we all told her to leave him. This didn't happen. Two of my friends and I went to check on her one night, and we couldn't find her. We got really worried because all of the lights were on in the house, and the car was there. Something didn't seem right. We called the police. The police came out, and our friend came out of the house with her husband. There really wasn't anything the police could do because she refused to talk to them. A year later, she got pregnant. I never acted like her husband wasn't beating her, but I also didn't go away. I think that's what he wanted us all to do, but none of us did. She would insist on bringing him places with us, and we would just grin and bear it. I think she needed us as friends more than he needed to be "frozen out" of our group. So, they ended up moving over 6 hours away, and I would keep up with her through email. She never really sounded happy. He cheated on her through the years. The latest was with the church secretary. He's a deacon, of course. The good thing is that something seemed different about her this weekend. I asked her if everything was ok, and she just said that she was tired of it. She said that for the first time ever she had opened her own bank account, and she has gone back to school. She seemed stronger, but she also seemed wore out. Her daughter seems to be well-adjusted and smart. I always worried that he would hurt her too. It's so hard to see a friend in this position. There really isn't anything I can do to help, but just keep in touch. I'm thinking of planning a road trip with another girlfriend of ours from graduate school. Maybe we just need to bust up in there and show him that we are still very much connected to her. I just don't know.

Even Imelda Marcos Needs Help Sometimes

I recently landed a new client at work that a lot of people ranked higher than me were fighting over. I'm very excited and proud of myself. To celebrate, I want to buy a new pair of shoes. I've narrowed it down to two different styles (the pink/black and the pair with a bow on the toe). I could wear either of these to the office or out on the town. Our office has a very creative atmosphere, so the admin. doesn't mind if you go a little out there. You just have to be professional. Anyway, I need our readers to tell me which pair to buy. I can't afford both of them, so I have to choose. Let the opinions begin!