Do Boys Ever Grow Up?

Sukie and I ride to work together, and we set out on our morning commute today. We're almost to work when an Asplundh truck packed with large, blonde men pulled up beside us. Keep in mind that we were in the left hand lane on a highway. So, the truck pulls up on the right hand side, and all of the windows are down. The driver leans out and yells something along the lines of, "Nice titties! Woo hoo!" I yell, "Fuck off!" This just riles them up. I should have known better. We finally pull into work, and I stomp off to my division. I'm waiting on the elevator, which is right beside the coffee shop. The coffee guy looks at me all funny and says, "Mmmm. I like those shoes." Eww. I finally get to my office, and I have to rush out again for a meeting, which means I have to pass the coffee guy again. I get off of the elevator, and he comes towards me. He says, "Can I ask you something?" I revert back to a self-defense class I took a long time ago. I'm standing fairly close to him when I scream, "NO!" I think he thought I was strange. Motherfucker harasses me every damn morning, and he looks at me like I'm strange. What the fuck is wrong with people? I just want to be left alone in the morning...and the afternoon...and the evening.

Tina Fey was funny...not so much everyone else...

Now, the debate sketch left a lot to be desired IMHO. I mean there was plenty of stuff they could've pulled from that debate that would've been really funny in an SNL skit. I mean, what about the whole "I have a bracelet...I have a bracelet, too" thing. That? Could've been hysterical. Think: "Mine's shiny than yours!" "I've had mine longer!" "Mine's bigger!" Whoever has the best bracelet wins the presidency! Have at it! What'll it be at the next debate? Necklaces? Actual dog tags? Earrings? So much could've been done with that. It makes you wonder if the SNL writers fell asleep during the debate.

They did nothing with John McCain's opening comment that he "hasn't been feeling "too great lately."


And what about this comedic opportunity:
John McCain: "As president of the United States, I want to assure you, I've got a pen." He then held up a Sharpie, looked at it and said, "This one's kind of old." That? Was just funny anyway? How'd they miss that one??

Or how about mocking the pronunciations? McCain, no matter how many times he tried, could NOT pronounce Ahmadinejad correctly. And Obama? Pronounces Pakistan and Taliban weird. There's definitely something SNL writers could've worked with.

Plus, there were plenty of good one-liners, that just made you go WTF? Like this one from John McCain: "I looked into Mr. Putin's eyes, and I saw three letters: a 'K,' a 'G' and a 'B.'" What? That was funny.

I mean, really, SNL...looks like without the likes of Tina Fey, you're just not funny. Time to dip back into the talent pool. I could do better than that. Seriously.
(I will, however, concede that the bit with Hillary at the end "just in case John McCain didn't show up" was pretty funny.)

I knew she couldn't pass it up...

It was almost too easy...

Blogging the Debate

John McCain's first answer of the night began with thanking everyone.

Then, he says he hasn't "been feeling too great lately."

Did anyone else think maybe he was about to admit to be knocking on death's door??

Me? I was really expecting the next thing out of his mouth to be a litany of old man ailments ala my crazy grandma: "Oh, my colon's been acting up. You wouldn't believe the shit that comes out of me sometimes! And I just can't control it. And my aching back. You have no idea the pain I feel! No idea. And I've also got these heart palpitations. My heart just gets all aflutter and I feel like I'm dying."

Then, he even made a joke about his own age to top it off: "and I've been around a long time."

Yes, John, you have. You are old. We can see that.

Why Camp McCain Keeps Sarah Away from the Press

Wow. My fave part of this interview?

COURIC: Why isn’t it better, Governor Palin, to spend $700 billion helping middle-class families struggling with health care, housing, gas and groceries? … Instead of helping these big financial institutions that played a role in creating this mess?

PALIN: Ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy– Oh, it’s got to be about job creation too. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions.

SUKIE: Oh! And world peace, that's good, too. Dumb fucking bitch.

Jokes From Grandpa Bitchford

I'm in a such a state of pissiness and anger. When I get like this, I call my dad. I asked him what he thought of all this mess. Here is his response.

"You know...Sarah Palin's gonna have to admit that she thought Russia invaded Atlanta."
This is where he laughs loudly at himself. Then he follows up with this.

"What did George W. say when he was told that Russia invaded Georgia? Damn! I always knew they wanted our peaches!"

I love him. :)

McCain is Acting like a Backstabbing 14-year old Girl!

Hopefully, everyone has heard that John McCain has suspended his campaign, and Barack Obama has decided not to suspend his campaign. McCain wants to postpone the debate on Friday, and Obama would like to move forward. Here is where it gets very "high school." In the spirit of coming together, Obama called McCain today. Obama wanted to release a joint statement that outlined a plan for the economic catastrophe that we are in the middle of. Apparently, McCain was supportive of this. It was Obama's understanding that the statement would be released together. Nope. McCain decides to release his own fucking statement and suspend his campaign. I guess he has nothing to say to me on Friday, so fuck it.

This reminds me of a bitch named Mary that I went to middle school with. She knew that I totally liked this upper class man named Blaine. She would talk about him with me and giggle. She would say things like, "Oh! He was totally looking at you during the pep rally." Mary decided that she would help me and make sure Blaine knew that I was warm for his form. You know what the bitch did? She fucking asked him out. She went behind my back, and then stabbed me in it.

John McCain is no better than that fucking Mary bitch. He acted like he was all for a joint statement, and then he tried to go behind Obama's back and fuck him over. You know what, though? I don't think it's going to work. I, for one, want to know what these two candidates think about our current situation and how it can be fixed. I'll paraphrase Obama for the conclusion. A president will have many situations going on at one time and will have to handle them all with care.

Looks like you can't manage that, McCain. There better be a fucking debate on Friday night!

Bitch is Just Stupid

I'm getting ready to change my hair color. I like to mix it up. I'm a natural blonde, but I really love dark red hair. I usually change it when fall rolls around. I can't decide whether I should go dark brown or dark red. Anyway, I was asking some ladies at work, and the office manager piped up...even though I wasn't talking to her because she's a stupid bitch. She says, "I really like you blonde because the red makes you look old." I felt like saying, "I really like you in skirts because those pants you have on make you look like a big fat turd." I didn't. I fucking hate being around her. She's always reciting bible verses to me, and on top of that, she fucks up all of my shit that I give her to do. I used to think she did it on purpose, but she's not that smart. I've noticed that she fucks everyone's shit up. Why don't they fire her, you ask? Because that's just not how they roll. Fuck!

Q & A with Sukie

Q: Are we making tomorrow’s leaders or tomorrow’s morons in public school?

A: If this Dallas school district is any indication, it’s definitely the latter.

Q: Aren’t there enough dumbasses in the world already?

A: Yes!

Read her Lip(stick)

Record's Reveal Palin's Push for Earmarks

If I were in Russia, I bet I could see her lips moving from her backyard. I think she would be saying, "Thanks, but not thanks," in that horrible accent of hers. I'm no fool. I know politicians lie all of the time. Anyone who is willing and able to raise as much money as they do, and then spend it trying to win the greatest power in the world...well, that usually doesn't make for the most honest and warm-hearted person. I do believe Barack Obama and Joe Biden could produce a much needed change of direction for this country. If I didn't, then I wouldn't vote for them. Sukie and I were talking today, and it makes no sense for middle and lower class to vote for McCain. His plans will not help you. Period. I'm really tired of the McCain/Palin campaign continuing to just fucking out and out lie, and some people still believe them. I just don't get it.

Yo, Adrian?

Do you see it? Yes? No? Sorry, people. I've hit my word limit for the day. This is all I've got. Carry on.

The Diva Cup

Have you all heard of these? Apparently, the diva cup is an environmentally friendly alternative to pads and tampons. There are two sizes. Size 1 is for those ladies who are not all old and floppity. Size 2 is for the women who are big ole whores or have had babies. You can read more about that on the web site. At first, I wrinkled up my nose in disgust. After getting past the initial nastiness, I realized that this is no different than shoving a bunch of cotton up in your crotch. I do have to admit that it grosses me out a bit to think of emptying the diva cup. In fact, I was speaking with Mrs. Flax today, and she completely grossed me out. I was bitching about the Eastwickeans, and she said, "Why don't you buy a diva cup? You can throw the blood on them." Ewww, Mrs. Flax. 2 points for sheer meanness, but -1 for nastiness. I would like your opinion about the diva cup. Are there any users out there?

Don't Be Bitter Cindy...

It makes you press your lips together, which will result in fine lines around your Botoxed face. I posted part of The View interview with John and Cindy McCain. There are three parts, and you should watch them all. They are highly entertaining. Barbara, Joy, and Whoopi were giving them so much heat that Cindy's make-up started to melt. Maybe this is why she's so pissed.

Cindy was quoted as saying, "In spite of what you see ... in the newspapers, and on shows like 'The View' -- I don't know if any of you saw 'The View' yesterday, they picked our bones clean -- in spite of what you see, that's not what the American people are saying and what they are believing," says Mrs. McCain, per ABC News' Arnab Datta. "They are now seeing a clear difference with these candidates, and they are seeing who is going to make the best president, and that's why we're pulling ahead."

Actually, Cindy, The View is the type of show that women watch. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if some people get all of their information from shows like these. Maybe you should be pissed and worried. Also, I think Barbara Walters can bitch slap you all she wants about Sarah Palin. Barbara has actually broken glass ceilings for women and continues to do so. Basically, Cindy, I am telling you to fuck off and stop whining. I tried to tell you that Elisabeth Hasselbeck didn't matter.

Oh, Sarah! Please Stop Your Lies!

You probably woke up this morning to hear that the McCain campaign is at it again. They told ANOTHER LIE, and now they are trying to back pedal their way out of it. This excerpt from thewashingtonpost.com says it best.

"Palin made an official visit to see Alaskan troops in Kuwait in July of 2007. There, she made a stop at a border crossing with Iraq on July 25, according to the Boston Globe, but did not go further into the country. 'Sarah Palin's visit to Iraq in 2007 consisted of a brief stop at a border crossing between Iraq and Kuwait, the vice presidential candidate's campaign said yesterday, in the second official revision of her only trip outside North America,' the Globe's Bryan Bender wrote, adding, later in his story: '[C]ampaign aides and National Guard officials in Alaska said by telephone yesterday that she did not venture beyond the Kuwait-Iraq border.'
Lieutenant Colonel Dave Osborn, commander of the 3rd Battalion, 207th Infantry of the Alaska National Guard told the Globe she did not venture into Iraq. 'You have to have permission to go into a lot of areas, and [the crossing] is where her permissions were,' he said."

The McCain campaign is now on its third revision as to whether or not Palin was in Iraq. Honestly, if you had asked me in 2000 if John McCain would sink this low, I would have said no. His own ego and wants have taken over and that is a fucking scary situation for the American people. As far as Palin going to Iraq goes, let's check out some photos of people who have been to Iraq.

Kathy Griffin

Kid Rock

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey

Comedian Al Franken was quoted in USA Today (12/22/2005) as saying, "I think I may be the only comedian who's played Abu Ghraib." He was talking about his visit to the prison near Baghdad where U.S. guards had abused Iraqi detainees.

What happened to McCain and his Straight Talk? BTW, I've sat in the Chicago airport for half a day. Does this mean I visited Chicago? I've also been on a train as it passed through Washington, DC. Does this count? Oh, and I can't forget the time I flew over San Diego. I had a great time there.

Snapfish.com Can Still Suck a Dick

Ok. Here's the message I sent, along with my order number.

Me: I ordered a customized day planner, and I received someone else's planner. I would like my customized planner sent to me immediately. Thank you.

Response:Thank you for contacting us.We are sorry that your order seems to have been mixed up. There is no need to send back that other customer's prints; it will be faster for everyone if you just throw those away. It is actually very likely that the other customer has received the correct order already (even if you received those same prints also).Our records show that the order was shipped on 9/8/2008 Most likely your order has been delayed by the Postal Service. While we know it's frustrating to wait, please wait until at least ten days from shipped date for your order to arrive.If your order is not received within ten business days of shipment, we will issue a refund or provide credits to allow you to order replacements. We know that's a long time to wait, but our experience with the postal service is that you are almost certain to have the order soon.Again, we apologize for the delay. Snapfish is committed to your satisfaction, and we make every effort to meet your expectations. Please feel free to contact us should you have any further questions regarding this matter.

Me: Well, that's nice that the other woman probably received what she actually ordered and paid for. I guess batting at 50% is ok for your company. How can my day planner show up in ten days when the order already arrived? It was shipped to me. The shipping slip had my order number on it, along with the name of my planner. Would you have sent me two day planners, when I only ordered one? I would like a credit to be issued to my account immediately.

Am I missing something? I totally could be because I'm mad as hell.

The View Ladies Kick McCain's Old, Lying Ass

Snapfish.com Can Suck a Dick

I'm so pissed. I ordered a variety of things from Snapfish the other day. Two of the three items arrived today. One item was bent all to hell, so I can't use it. The other item was a customized day planner. I had labored over what picture to put on my calendar, and I finally settled on one of the dogs. I had a snarky little title on it, and all of my work info is printed on the front cover. It looks like this:
If you find this, give it back!
A. Bitchford
phone
email

So, I open up my package, and this is what I fucking see.

Here's the problem. I don't know Wyatt and Trenton. I'm sure they are perfectly nice little boys, but I'm not their fucking Auntie! If Wyatt and Trenton's mommy is out there in the blogsphere somewhere, please know that I have your calendar. Your little boys are safe in Eastwick. So, someone out there has a day planner with an inbred looking dog on it and a pissy message on the front inside cover. This is why Snapfish can suck a dick. Has anyone had to deal with returning items and getting replacements with Snapfish? If so, I would like to hear about your experience. Please let it be favorable.

Too Funny Not to Share

Gina Gershon as Sarah Palin

See more Gina Gershon videos at Funny or Die

dear john

Dear John McCain,

Let's make sure that before you go calling other people sexist, the comment to which you are referring is NOT one you have yourself made. M'kay?

Thanks,

In case y'all missed it, McCain's camp is making a big to-do out of Obama's comment that the McCain ticket is "not change...you can put lipstick on a pig and it's still a pig." McCain et. al. claim this is a direct sexist remark targeted at Sarah Palin who joked, "the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom? Lipstick!". They want an apology. Unfortunately for them, McCain is also a fan of the old adage "you can put lipstick on a pig...". And it is an old adage, so their point is really moot--especially since the last time McCain used it was in a discussion of Hillary Clinton's health care plan...and nobody said that was sexist.

Sarah can't stop lying...(revised...I am sick, but now I'm sick and can't sleep)

I mean, really, if this bitch had Pinocchio's problem, she'd be able to stab Bin Laden to death herself with her nose--without leaving her home state of Alaska.

And John McCain? Starting to remind me of Bernie in that movie Weekend at Bernie's. And Sarah Palin is propping him up like a puppet, making him move his mouth to her words. Earth to John McCain. John? This is Earth! Come in, John! Shit, y'all, I think we've lost John!

Sarah: Just let it go. We know now (for sure) that you DID support that "bridge to nowhere"--a symbol of political corruption, of overspending, of those earmarks you claim you fought against. We also know that you were the Queen of earmarks, hiring a lobbying firm to get you the most money possible out of Congress. Uh, hello. So, please, just stop repeating that line over and over again. And tell John to stop, too. At least he use to have some integrity before he started hanging out with you. But now you've got him telling outright lies, too, and that just ain't right! Now, I know that this isn't entirely your fault. I mean, after all, if John McCain had stood up to the Republican party and chosen one of his top two picks (Lieberman/Ridge) against their wishes (Mitt Romney), you wouldn't even be here. I know that you are only here today because John McCain basically got mad, through a hissy fit (if you won't let me have who I want...I won't give you who you want, either!), had only a couple of days left to make a pick the party would approve, and so, he picked you. I know it was a rash decision, one which shows us just what kind of president McCain would be. I know you've been struggling to stay above water ever since (that's why you just keep repeating the same lines over and over and refuse interviews while you attempt to study up on foreign policy). I know it's particularly tough since you don't actually believe in the same things as John McCain (like that global warming is man-made or that a windfall tax is a bad idea--seeing as you had such great success with that in Alaska, that one makes sense). But really? The lying? Has got to stop. I mean, a little exaggeration is expected, but outright lying is wrong. Drop the line. Find a new one. Preferably? A true one. Thanks.

Sources: Politifact, 9/3/08, CBS News, 9/2/08, Governor Palin Press Release, 9/21/07, Ketchikan Daily News, 11/21/06, Ketchikan Daily News, 8/9/06, Ketchikan Daily News, http://archive.ketchikandailynews.com/archive_results.php, 8/9/06, accessed 8/29/08, Ketchikan Daily News, 10/2/06, Anchorage Daily News, 10/22/06, republished 08/29/08, Washington Post, Kurtz Column, 9/9/08, AP, 9/9/08, Time Magazine, 9/9/08, Daily News Miner, 8/31/08, Anchorage Daily News, 8/31/08, USA Today, 9/8/08, AP, 9/8/08, Factcheck.org, 9/4/08, Politifact, Chicago Tribune Blog, 9/9/08, Wall Street Journal, 9/9/08,

Oh No They Didn't!

Sukie and I were waiting at the bus stop this morning, and it was a hot, humid morning. I hate those in Eastwick. My nice skirt was already sticking to me and riding up in the wrong places. I had my sunglasses on, so the other riders couldn't see my eat shit and die look. It's not personal. I just hate hot, muggy mornings. So, Sukie and I take our place right near the front where the bus will stop. We are there 10 minutes early, so we can make sure we get a good spot. About two minutes before the bus is due, a shit ton of people start crawling out of cars, coming out of WalMart, and slinking across the hot pavement. They look like those damn zombies from 28 Days Later. They come over and stand directly in front of us. What the fuck, assholes? I got here ealry for my spot, and your motherfucking piece of lazy shit self is gonna stand in front of me. To top things off, there was a woman on her cell phone directly beside us. She kept screaming things like, "Ehh! Yous up yet? Where you be?" Also, the creepy lady was there. She goes up to the people first in line and acts like she knows them. That's her secret way of breaking in line. Fucking bitch. I couldn't take it. Sukie and I took off towards my car. I had to get the fuck out of here. Fuck saving money. Fuck saving gas. My sanity is more important. I think our days of public transportation are numbered for awhile. We did make an agreement to continue carpooling, so I think that makes it all ok. Fuck Eastwick!

Shut up, Sarah

I just watched another Sarah Palin speech. She keeps saying the same shit--even though her speech is riddled by some flat-out lies and LOTS of hyperbole. You'd think she'd change it up when she realized everyone's on to her.

In any case, she just said, for about the billionth time, that she "stood up to Big Oil."

Uh-huh. Anyone else think it odd her husband works for BP???
Sure he quit for a while so it wouldn't look bad for Sarah. But then they needed more money(probably for those 5 kids--why do Republicans always have ridiculous amounts of kids??), and he was back at it again.

Yeah, she says no to special interests...

Tax Cuts

Take a look at this.

Under McCain's tax plan, if you are single with no dependents and make $35,000 (AGI), then you will receive a tax cut of $24.79. Under Obama's plan, you will receive a tax cut of $481.06. Now, under McCain's tax plan, if you are single with no dependents and make $500,000 (AGI), then you will receive a tax cut of
$4,205.22. Under Obama's plan, you will pay $12,098.69. Now, I ask you, which candidate will benefit the majority of Americans? I think the answer is clear.

Here's a chart comparing Obama's and McCain's healthcare plans.

McCain/Palin and the Community Organizer

Someone sent me this video late last night. I found it to be an interesting take on some of the highlights from the Republican convention.

Ozzy Osbourne Said it Best

Oh, Elisabeth. Do you really think people take you seriously? Didn't you lose on that reality show? BTW, I wasn't aware that Cindy McCain or Michelle Obama were running for office; however, Sarah Palin is running for office. Take a look at this video.



Who cares? I care, lady. She didn't make any points. She had some one-liners that battered Obama a bit, but there wasn't anything else. She then paraded her family around stage. While these people look like they walked right out of a J. Crew catalog, this really does nothing for the economy or foreign policy. On top of that, McCain followed her last night and said a whole lot of nothing. This entire debacle reminds me of the old Ozzy Osbourne song Crazy Train.

"Crazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it's not too late..."

Oh, Sarah...

Putting aside the fact that VP candidate Sarah Palin has not nearly enough experience to step in if/when John McCain (if elected) dies (what's she gonna do? Toss a hockey stick at terrorists???), she's CRAZY!

Palin recently said that the war in Iraq is "God's task." She's even admitted she hasn't thought about the war much—just last year she was quoted saying, "I've been so focused on state government, I haven't really focused much on the war in Iraq." ^{1, 2} Seriously?? God sent our soldiers over there to die?? It's a Holy War?!?! WTF?!?! And also, doesn't she have a son who could potentially be sent to Iraq--but she hasn't thought much about it???

Palin has actively sought the support of the fringe Alaska Independence Party. Six months ago, Palin told members of the group—who advocate for a vote on secession from the union—to "keep up the good work" and "wished the party luck on what she called its 'inspiring convention.'" ³ Seceeding from the country definitely goes along with the theme of "Country First," no?

Palin wants to teach creationism in public schools. She hasn't made clear whether she thinks evolution is a fact.⁴ Of course, we all know evolution's a crock, no? So, I guess she ain't so nuts...

Palin doesn't believe that humans contribute to global warming. Speaking about climate change, she said, "I'm not one though who would attribute it to being manmade." ⁵ She's clearly been hanging out w/ George W. And hasn't been reading much.

Palin has close ties to Big Oil. Her inauguration was even sponsored by BP. ⁶ Ahem...reformer...ahem...yeah, Big Oil won't keep its stronghold on Washington with Ms. "Drill, Baby, Drill," will it? No wonder she thinks that drilling will solve all our problems

Palin is extremely anti-choice. She doesn't even support abortion in the case of rape or incest. ⁷ Enough said.

Palin opposes comprehensive sex-ed in public schools. She's said she will only support abstinence-only approaches.⁸ This is probably why her 17 y/o daughter is pregnant and being forced to marry her teenage boyfriend--but I'm just speculating on that.

As mayor, Palin tried to ban books from the library. Palin asked the library how she might go about banning books because some had inappropriate language in them—shocking the librarian, Mary Ellen Baker. According to Time, "news reports from the time show that Palin had threatened to fire Baker for not giving "full support" to the mayor." ⁹ Ah...forget BIg Brother! It's Big Sister!

She DID support the Bridge to Nowhere (before she opposed it). Palin claimed that she said "thanks, but no thanks" to the infamous Bridge to Nowhere. But in 2006, Palin supported the project repeatedly, saying that Alaska should take advantage of earmarks "while our congressional delegation is in a strong position to assist." ¹⁰ So, I really wish she would quit saying that. Why make a big deal out of it when you're clearly a flip-flopper??

On a lighter note, if you haven't seen it, check out the Daily Show clip on Palin. It's worth a watch (I personally enjoy the comparison to Britney Spears' parents--it's a good point...oh,oh, and when Palin talks about sexism...good stuff):

Sources
1. "Palin: Iraq war 'a task that is from God'," Associated Press, September 3, 2008

2. "Palin wasn't 'really focused much' on the Iraq war," ThinkProgress, August 30, 2008

3. "The Sarah Palin Digest," ThinkProgress, September 4, 2008

4. "McCain and Palin differ on issues," Associated Press, September 3, 2008

5. Ibid

6."The Sarah Palin Digest,"" ThinkProgress, September 4, 2008

7. Ibid

8. Ibid.

9. "Mayor Palin: A Rough Record," Time, September 2, 2008

10. "The Sarah Palin Digest," ThinkProgress, September 4, 2008

WTF, Laura Bush?

I'm watching the RNC, and I really can't believe what I'm hearing. Is she serious? She just stood up in front of those cameras and praised her husband for giving children mosquito nets, so they don't catch malaria. Really? Really? Oh, and she finished up with, "And that's change you can believe in." No it's not. That's not change. That's bullshit. What about Walter Reed? What about our vets? What about the children here in the US who don't have any health coverage? Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I don't get women voters

I try to understand different points of view, to be open to new and different ideas. But some things I just don't get. Like how a woman can vote for John McCain.

Not only has the man shown a general disrespect for women (calling his wife a c*nt to her face in front of others), but his policy positions threaten to doom women to a life reminiscent of the pre-Civil Rights era.

Hear me out:

John McCain is anti-abortion (if this a hot-button topic for you, skip to the next paragraph). Regardless of how you personally feel about abortion, I don't understand women who would be willing to hand over their right to choose, to make informed, educated decisions for themselves. John McCain would put into place Supreme Court justices who would work to overturn Roe vs. Wade, so women would be back at square one: you're too dumb to decide for yourselves, so we'll decide for you--you have no choice. And excuse me, but that's bullshit.

As if that's not enough, John McCain has made it well known that he does not support sex education. So not only will he take away our right to choose whether or not to give birth, he will take away the one thing that will allow women to become educated enough to avoid accidental or unwanted pregnancy in the first place! Yikes! I mean, that's basically akin to wanting to put women back in "their place:" barefoot and pregnant in kitchens across America, slaving over three-course meals for their men. Thanks, John, but no thanks.

On top of that, his preference for the miserable failure that is abstinence-only programs threatens an increase in STDs, a rise in teen pregnancy, and, naturally, an increase in illegal (and dangerous) abortions. We will also see a steep decline in the availability of birth-control:

McCain opposed Title X, the nation's family planning program.
In 1990, McCain voted NO on legislation to extend the Title X federal family planning program, which provides low-income and uninsured women and families with health care services ranging from breast and cervical cancer screening to birth control. I mean, seriously, what could be more important if you're genuinely concerned about American families? About family values? How about educating women about birth control, so the issue of abortion is a non-issue? How about educating them about health and providing them with screenings that will save taxpayers millions of dollars by catching expensive and debilitating medical problems like cancer ahead of time? But no, I guess it's easier just to let the problem be and bitch about it later.

McCain opposed requiring insurance coverage of prescription birth control.
In 2003, McCain voted NO on legislation to improve the availability of contraceptives for women and to require insurance coverage of prescription birth control. Excuse me? If you really want to be pro-life, how about making birth control readily available?? That's just common sense! It makes no sense to make it harder to get and then just expect women to give birth to babies they didn't want, didn't plan for, and can't afford (and whom we taxpayers will end up paying for!).

This is just a tiny glimpse into the future of women in America if John McCain wins in November. It's not all about sex and health. Notably, McCain stayed out campaigning rather than attending the vote on the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act in April. This important legislation would have overturned the Supreme Court decision that said employees have six months from the date of discrimination--rather than 6 months from the date they discovered the discrimination--to sue their employers for equal pay. McCain didn't think the legislation was important. Had he attended the vote, he has said he would've voted against it. So much for cracks in the glass ceiling, huh?

Not even his choice of a woman for a running mate (a move I personally find almost nauseating in its transparency of purpose) can make up for McCain's distinctly anti-women political positions. And this is why I cannot, just cannot, understand women who would give this man their vote. I don't get it.

When Pigs Fly

Well, the Eastwick festival came to an end last night. There was a Star Wars costume contest, and my nephew entered. I'll call him Yoda because he's small and wise. So, Yoda entered the contest and actually placed. He was terribly cute. See, isn't he cute? I've put a little mask on him for privacy. ;)

Then the radio hosts sponsoring the event got up on stage. They had a "homemade" blaster gun. They started stuffing little pink pigs into the blaster and shooting them into the audience. It ain't an Eastwick festival without the pigs flying. Here's the stuffing procedure in action.

In case you are wondering, yes, I did push small children out of my way for the chance at a free flying pig. Once the Star Wars contest had ended, we decided to stroll around and look at the food. My favorite part of the day was when we met the Peanut Lady. We were walking by her booth, and she was screaming something in an Eastwickean drawl. We stopped, and this is what we heard. "Git yur Americun made nuts! These nuts 'r fresh! Yous won't see no made in China stamped on these here nuts!" Excellent! American nuts! I didn't buy any, but I'm sure they would have made me want to break into song. Perhaps Lee Greenwood's "I'm Proud to be an American" would have been in order. We kept walking and decided on some pizza.

Later, we settled into the grass and waited for the next Star Wars event. It was a musical event with a laser show. There were even storm troopers.

Our county administrator was the MC for the night. I'm not sure if he was hammered or nervous. He would say things like, "Let's give them a round of slappause!" "On a beautiful night like tonight no one should be complining." Hmmm. The best part of the entire day happened as we were leaving. Little Yoda had to go to the bathroom, so I was hanging out at the main entrance. I had put my camera away for the night, and of course it happened. A woman walked past, and she had on a baseball hat that in lighted letters said, "I love Jesus!" All in all, it was a good day spent with my peeps.