A Holiday Meme

Why? Because I can! :)

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate?
Mmmm...vodka.

2. Letter to Santa?
Nope, but I do like to sit on his lap. ;)

3. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?
When I was a kid, they were just under the tree. Now, they are wrapped.

4. Colored lights on your tree/house or white?
White. It's probably the only somewhat tasteful thing I do.

5. Do you hang mistletoe?
Nope, but it is hanging from the high limbs of my dying oak trees.

6. When do you put your decorations up?
Day after Thanksgiving, but I was a little late this year.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child:
My grandparents would show up on Christmas morning with the truck loaded down with gifts from Santa. I also loved the stockings my mom put together.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
He's not real?

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
YES! My sister and I have a tradition. We get each other a totally inappropriate Christmas gift every year. Last year, I received a book by Jenna Jameson called How to Make Love Like a Porn Star. I highly recommend it.

10. Can you ice skate?
Yes. I'm a regular Tonya Harding.

11. Do you remember your favorite gift?
Yep. My nephew gave me a 1950's silver Christmas tree with elves' heads all over it. It's kitschy and wonderful.

12. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
I love Christmas Eve at my sister's house. Everyone is loud, happy, and tipsy.

13. What tops your tree?
Bitterness. I used to have this cool tree topper, but my ex-husband fumbled around with his stupid monkey fingers and broke it one year. Asshole.

14. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
Jesus Was Born Today by the Oak Ridge Boys
Please don't judge.

Ok. I would finish this meme, but Mr. Bitchford just walked in naked, so I'm gonna go see what that's all about. Please complete the meme and share with the Bitches. Thanks!