Thursday, May 17, 2007
Sukie and Alexandra's Baby Adventure
First of all, I must tell you that Sukie and I despise children. The only reason I like my nieces and nephews is because they look like me and act like me. I don't think Sukie likes ANY children. Hell, I don't even know if Sukie likes me sometimes;) Anyway, Sukie is working on a major project at our company with a major brown noser. We will call her The Peroxide Queen. Even though Sukie is doing the actual work, The Peroxide Queen has taken over the budget. She really needs to buy about $3,000 worth of electronics for the project, and The Peroxide Queen is holding the money hostage! When asked about this, The Peroxide Queen said that she would really like to go with Sukie to make the purchases. This sent Sukie into a foaming from the mouth tirade. I thought she should just make a list of what she needed and send The Queen after it. Then, we got an even better idea. Why not make a registry? We could go to the store, create the registry, and Sukie wouldn't have to go shopping with the bitch. Brilliant! The only problem was that this place only had wedding or baby registries. Discrimination! Anyway, Sukie and I decided we could pose as a lesbian couple adopting a child. Woo Hoo! Our baby is gonna have some killer electronics. $3,000 worth! BTW, our child will be arriving in late August. We are registered for premium vodka and a lifetime prescription of Valium. Sukie and I thank you in advance:)
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3 comments:
My hearty congratulations and condolences. I've heard Lexapro is the bomb. Not that I would know, or anything. I only wish I had had some at the time . . . .
Can I come watch ANTM on your big screen projection bassinet?
You know, I still cannot believe the major chains like Target do not have registries for housewarmings or birthdays. I DO feel discrimated against.
Also, I would like to point out that I believe that 98% of the people in this country are completely ignorant and stupid. Thus, I hate most people because I hate stupidity. I don't like children because children don't know enough to not be stupid yet, and 98% of them have parents who are too stupid to teach them how not to be stupid, which makes me angry. This is why I can count my friends on my fingers.
I wish I had 10 friends.
I must be brilliant.
:)
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