Sunday, September 23, 2007

A Bitch's List

I was watching my CBS morning show today, and there was a piece on lists. Apparently our society loves any and all lists. It doesn't matter how long or short or how crazy of a topic. Think about it. All magazines have lists. David Letterman has a list. Forbes has a list. VH-1 has a list. My goal is to try and post a list each week. Here is my first one.

Top Ten Things Women With Large Hooters Should Know
10. Stripes are not your friend
9. Scoop necklines are your friend
8. Turtlenecks are just out of the question
7. Loose garments only make you look like you are hiding something
6. Underwire is a must
5. You are not the only one who can't see your feet when you look down
4. Playtex cone bras are a no-no
3. Demi-cut bras were not meant for you
2. Bras are an investment. You will need to spend more than $12.99.
1. Embrace your large hooters and love them

4 comments:

Barb Smith said...

I so wish this was something I had to worry about...but, alas, it was not meant to be.

Should I do a list of things us little boobed women have to deal with? LOL

Unknown said...

I need new bras badly and I cant afford them because it's going to be like a $200 excursion, even at just Maidenform. And I cant shop at Vickys, or Walmart, nobody makes my size. 38 E. Fucked.

Alexandra Bitchford said...

I've been in that boat before, Jessie. Just remember that one quality bra (that you have to keep washing over and over) is better than a poor quality bra that lets your girls hang to the floor.

Sukie Bitchmont said...

# 11: You need mor than spaghetti straps to hold those girls up!

#12: Your formal dress is not strapless. You need straps to bolster those big gals!