Cranky Cal and Me

I sat in a 2 1/2 hour presentation today, and it is a miracle that I didn’t shoot one of my colleagues. Do you have one of those co-workers who seems to like to argue with EVERything—just for the sake of arguing? Yeah, me too. And he was there.

Basically, our company paid to bring in these people to talk about some new software the company is interested in purchasing, software that could simplify our jobs. The purpose of the presentation was to see if employees think this particular software is worth the investment.

Before the first presenter can even get ¼ of the way through her presentation, this guy (heretofore known as Cranky Cal) starts belligerently badgering her: “Why should we pay for software to do these functions when we can do them ourselves?” “But why should we pay for software?” “How will this software accomplish anything my head can’t?” He won't even give her a chance to answer, interrupting her with questions that don't even have answers! And on and on and on…for thirty freaking minutes until the BIG, Big man in charge (my boss’s boss’s boss) had to make him shut the hell up. Thus, the freaking meeting lasted an extra thirty minutes.

It’s simple: these people created a computer program which simplifies a number of processes we have to do. In doing so, they have created a way for us to do our jobs better and accomplish more in a shorter period of time. I have one answer to all Cranky Cal’s questions: “To save time and energy, you freaking moron!”

Plus, the company is willing to pay for it. It’s not like it’s coming out of our pockets. They’re going to buy something: the question is only what.

Furthermore, we were provided with a feedback sheet to turn in at the end of the meeting. I diligently recorded my thoughts and opinions (complete with actual explanations and logical reasoning) all throughout the presentation, so my opinion would be considered by the higher-ups. That’s the point of the feedback sheet. Do you really have to keep us all from getting home in time for dinner just because you don’t get the point? Write it on the G-D sheet and turn it in like the rest of us. Shut the hell up, so we can go home.

And Cranky Cal does this in every meeting we’re in together (unfortunately a lot). If I don’t kill him before he retires, it will be a miracle sent straight from FSM.