Ex-Husbands are Like Bad Credit!

I've decided that ex-husbands are like bad credit. After two years, instead of seven, you get to erase them. Now, I don't think you should get to erase them meaning they don't exist anymore. Although, I did recently read about a woman who chopped her husband up and put him in her designer Kenneth Cole luggage. Interesting. However, this does not appeal to me for two reasons: (1) I wouldn't go to that much trouble and (2) I enjoy my freedom way too much. When I say erase, I mean you don't have to refer to him as your ex-husband anymore. When someone asks who he is, you can just say, "I don't know, but I heard he has an incurable venereal disease."

Why don't some ex-husbands want to go away? Is it a control issue? I mean, you have both spent a bunch of money to have your state say you broke up. Why drag that out some more? Mine likes to do this. We have no ties, but he continues to pop up everywhere. It just reminds me of why not to drink and what bad judgement a 22 year old can have. What was I freakin' thinking? My family tried to tell me, but I wouldn't listen. My dad even offered to help me down the fire escape of the B&B we were married at. Still wouldn't listen. So, the lesson is that "forever" is a long ass time, so be sure.

*This message is brought to you by the Council of Women Affected by Skank-ass Lying Men*